dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Even my vagina gasped.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
