Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
