As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
