she looked like the bat from fern gully.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
He passed out mid-signature
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
