If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize