she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
