last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
