she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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