I bet he comes in French.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
