he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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