What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize