Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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