I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
