You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
