Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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