these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
