a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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