Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
