But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
