So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
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