Will you blow on my dice?
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
