she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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