i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
