I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize
