me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
