I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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