Sponge bath it is.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
