its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
