dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
