alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize