Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
