I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
