Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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