; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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