I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
