So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
as a side note pls kill me
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize