I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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