I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Randomize
