You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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