the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
