The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
