guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
