She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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