I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
