before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
