she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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