how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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