Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
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