Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
