Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
