Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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