i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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