saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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