i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
