super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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