and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
