so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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