Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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