a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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