Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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