Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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