I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Randomize
