It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize