I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
