he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
