i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
