Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
only you would photoshop your dick
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
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