On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
