there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
