I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
