you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
