She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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