I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
