dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Success! We fucked roommates!
Randomize
