i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize