if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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